Kind Of Like Jesus … But A Little Bit Different

Cole had desperate cries of urgency this morning, begging me to come in the living room, where he was strategically placed on the couch trying to keep warm.

I guess he’s “off” the blankets for the day. I dunno.

Anyway, after arguing with myself as to whether or not I should succumb to the idea that there was a tiny chance he might actually need me, I just got up and went in there to ease the anxiety.

He knows this will happen.

It is why he continues to do it.

So I walk in the room and he’s already pointing at a Hot Wheels car on the floor. I look at the car and nod, noting that it is the one I bought him last night, and assuming he was showing me the cool car, yet again, even though I had already seen it at the time of purchase, not to mention the 18 times he showed me after I gave it to him.

I said something about how cool it was and started to give him the same old song and dance I always do, that he never hears about how I’d appreciate him not calling me in the room under such dramatic pretenses when it is not necessary. He didn’t even pretend to listen before he interrupted me to explain that the car in question? It had fallen overboard. It was in the water. He needed my help to save this car that he loves so much.

In true hero fashion, I swooped up this drowning sports car and placed it carefully on the couch next to him. We performed CPR (like they do on TV) and luckily, the car made it through this horrific event.

Then Cole realized that I, during all this commotion and confusion, was actually standing on top of this water that nearly took the life of his friend.

He was amazed. Jaw dropping excitement flooded his face as he shared his discovery of my awesome ability.

Of course, I played it off as if it was something I do everyday, this walking on water and saving the lives of those in need. I said,

“Yeah, I’m kind of like Jesus in that way, I guess.”

He laughed as he told me I was NOT, in fact, Jesus. I was Mommy and I was Kali – but never have I been Jesus.

I should seriously consider taking this kid to church one day. Or maybe even just read him one of those stories from that one book. So he doesn’t get clowned in school for not knowing who the hell Jesus is, if for no other reason.

 

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8 responses to “Kind Of Like Jesus … But A Little Bit Different

  1. That is fantastic! I love the “blanket.” Mine use the couch cushions as a hammock. You are totally like Jesus!

    • A hammock? As in a hammock/ island on the floor? Or like pillows strung from some high point in your living room?
      Not judging. Just curious. Both sound like a blast and if it is the latter? I need details so me and my kid can try it at home!

      And thank you for the Jesus comment. I’ve been saying that shit for years.

  2. no, they knock the back cushions over and nestle between the back of the couch and the cushions. It cradles them perfectly. Our couch cushions are destroyed, but they have fun in their little cove! And I would say you are a cross between Jesus and Fergie (if you know what movie that’s from I will like you even more!)

  3. Phew…I can’t be friends with anyone who doesn’t like Will Ferrel or know all of his movies by heart!

  4. just tell the kid who jesus is – for no other reason than to let him know that beards are wrong. please??

    • I was looking for a picture to prove your point a few days ago and all I could find was this photo manipulation I did years ago with my dog, Dexter, as the stand in Jesus. Dexter at the last Supper
      I already know I’m going to hell.

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