Part Two

It’s so easy to take life for granted. We go about our day-to-day routines and complain about traffic or work or the girl at Starbucks who can’t seem to remember to go easy on the foam. We assume there will be a tomorrow. And there will be. But who’s to say you’ll be around to bitch about it?

I saw a woman die before my eyes that day. I’ve seen death before. I’ve seen death on people I knew and cared about before. Only one before this has ever had a comparable (and far greater, even) effect. I won’t talk about that death here because it is not my place to share the life and death of a child taken too soon. But this woman – the one I’d never known before that day – her death has impacted my life significantly.

That day I was driving back to my home to pack my things. My husband and I had been fighting non-stop for too long and we decided it just wasn’t worth it anymore. Then I was given a reality check on what “it” really is. It is this short time on earth that allows us to love and to laugh and to learn. To let go of the small stuff and sometimes even the big stuff is not always simple, but it is always necessary. To forgive is to let yourself be free. Letting go is one of the hardest things to do for me. I hang on too long to things or people who are not worth it. But as I watched that woman in her last seconds, I wanted only to feel safe. Safety lies, for me, in my husband’s arms and in the home we made.

I am not thankful for that woman’s death; but I am eternally grateful for my life.

9 responses to “Part Two

  1. Kali, you say so much in just a few words, it’s eloquent yet succint. You evoke emotion, without hitting someone over the head. I am sorry you had that experience, but I am glad you make the most of it.

  2. I was wondering if and when you would be able to post Part Two.
    You said previously that in that moment “it felt like a lifetime had gone by”. I can’t even begin to imagine the emotional ups and downs you must have experienced since.
    I just hope that by hitting publish it has helped you on the journey of forgiveness and letting go.
    Shanon

    • Hi Shanon,
      I wasn’t sure what I would post, to be honest. That seemed like the end on more than a couple levels. And this doesn’t seem like nearly enough, actually. I feel I’ve done someone an injustice. I don’t know if that someone is me or her, but I have to accept that sometimes there really are no words to express the emotions and thoughts racing through my mind and body. And that’s okay. If I someday find them, I’ll use them. For now, though, I’ll do what I can with what I have and just remember to be thankful for all my blessings.

  3. So that I am understanding…this tragedy helped your relationship with your husband?
    I am hoping that is what you meant because that would be the reason you witnessed that. You were meant to see that to put things into perspective. That’s what I believe anyway. I am one of those people that believe everything happens for a reason. Not saying that wreck occurred so that you could reevaluate I’m sure there was another entire reason for that entirely. But you being the one who saw it was paramount for you.

    I’m so sorry you experienced this but am so glad you could share it.

  4. Such a powerful post of such few words. Thank you for sharing.

  5. Terri Kirkpatrick (ur mother)

    Kali,
    This post brought tears to my eyes for several reasons….but the one that instantly stuck me in the heart…. how much it makes me hurt to know my daughter had to witness something so horrific. As a parent yourself you now know exactly what I am talking about……if your child hurts…you hurt….no matter how old your child is… it never goes away…that voice inside your head saying…’what can I do to take this pain away? fix this? …please…give it to me instead of my child.’ But as others before me have said….maybe in some strange, awful, tragic way you were where you were supposed to be …and at least she had you there to make that eye contact with….and hopefully she didn’t feel totally alone… I love you Kali.

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