I’ll Pencil You In

I loathe schedules. Even if I make the damn thing myself, I hate having to do things at or by a certain time. Obviously, this can be an issue while dealing with oh, I don’t know, everyday life.

As an adult, I am expected to live by a certain kind of social contract. One that involves treating others the way I’d like to be treated. I will say that if I’m waiting on someone for more than 5 minutes past the agreed meeting time? I’m pretty irritated. It makes me think that they must think their time is worth more than mine or they must not respect me enough to keep their word or some other irrational conclusion that leads back to me and how it makes me feel because I’m so self centered I can’t think for a second that maybe – just maybe – there was an accident on the freeway or something else as simple and legitimate.

When it comes to meeting people in a situation that relies on me to do my part, I rarely disappoint. This is why I’m finding myself in an identity crisis at the moment.

Part of the awesomeness that is me is the fact that I’m somewhat of a fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants type of girl. Granted, The Cole hindered my gypsy lifestyle quite a bit, but at least I still felt as though I could act on impulse and without purpose every now and then. These days, however, I couldn’t possibly get away with anything of the sort. I feel slightly guilty for even posting this right now because I should definitely be handling matters that need my attention in my work world.

I love what I do and have chosen to be as involved in it as I am. I don’t HAVE to spend 10 hours a day (at least) getting this off the ground. But I committed myself and I’ve seen the results. They are great. Better than anyone before me, at least. And I know that anything worth having is not easy to attain. I know that it’s always rough and demanding in the beginning, but if I lay the groundwork correctly, it will run itself in just a couple of years. I know all these things – but I sometimes look at the schedule I’m forced to keep track of, with all these circles and highlights and yes, even color coding, and wonder what the hell happened to my life.

I guess I grew up.

No one saw that comin’.

2 responses to “I’ll Pencil You In

  1. Uh oh, you should know, if we ever meet in person, I am always late. Not because I don’t value the other person but because I always underestimate how long things will take. I get it all done, but my schedule is fluid.

  2. I wanted to let you know that I’ve undergone a bit of a transformation and the transfer to a self-hosted server means I’ve lost all of my subscribers. The good news is, it’s very easy to re-subscribe: simply go to http://www.loridyan.com and you’ll see the subscription box on the right-hand side. I’m so sorry for the inconvenience and thanks so much for your understanding.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s