Holy Hell, Batman

Can someone please explain to me why McDonald’s Happy Meal toys are so effin special?

Cole will have his new hand-held video game thing on one side of him and like … a puppy or something as equally awesome on the other side of him, and he will choose to play with the stupid Batman figurine that doesn’t even move by itself that he got in his Happy Meal  a couple of weeks ago.

Friday is “share day” at school. He gets to choose one toy from his millions to show off to his class. He used to pick a different Matchbox car every week and then he’d hide an extra one in his pocket. He thought I didn’t know. He’d have this little grin on his face and when I’d ask him what he was smiling about, he’d giggle a little and say “nothing, Mama”.

Anyway, he picks cooler toys now that he’s an official pre-schooler, and in the oldest group of kids at his school. He took his robot he got for Christmas from my aunt one week. It shoots foam discs and has a remote control. That was a big hit. Another day, he took the walking dragon he got from his Grandparents. That was a huge success. The kids crowded around him as soon as he walked in the classroom to watch as he gave a demonstration. He was the coolest kid in school that day.

Last Friday, he wanted to take the Batman figurine that doesn’t even move by itself. Sadly, one of the requirements for sharing on share day is that he turn in his completed homework packet. We finished the majority of it throughout the week, but there was just one page left to finish that morning before we left for school. He refused to finish it. He was not having any part of it. He literally put the pencil down on the table, crossed his arms, looked away, and said, “hmmpphh” with the attitude only a 4 year old could pull off (without getting his ass kicked).

He finished getting ready for school (with quite a push from me) and as we were walking out the door, he turned to run back in the house to pick a toy to take. I already told him he wouldn’t get to take one if he didn’t finish his homework but apparently he thought I was joking or something. Upon reminding him of the rule I had to stand by at this point, he quickly burst into tears and sobs and slobbers and snot bubbles. I drove him to school just like that – not even acknowledging his fit in hopes that negative reinforcement may be the trick in this particular situation.

It was not.

There was a scene at the school I won’t even get into because I’ve never actually had a worse morning with that kid. I honestly was at the very end of my rope. I’m so glad I was in public or I may have had a mental breakdown right there in front of the place.

His favorite teacher came out to help me distract him from his horrible reality and I kissed his cheek as he pushed me away to walk with her to his classroom. Of course, I was in tears on the way back to my car. I knew I had done the right thing… but it was so hard to see him that upset.

I returned home to find Dexter, my pit bull, gnawing on the remains of Cole’s Batman figurine. I spent hours that day searching for a McDonald’s who had that specific character available. No such luck.

I’ve been cleverly redirecting his attention ever since when he asked about Batman. Until this morning, when he found a piece of the Batman’s wing under my bed.

I am in for a fun day.

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5 responses to “Holy Hell, Batman

  1. those damn toys. I can’t even lie. I toss them frequently. And blame the dog.

  2. If you send me your address I can mail you out our batman happy meal toy.
    My son is obsessed with Batman, my husband is Bruce Wayne H. Jr so we have loads of batman stuff including the latest happy meal toy.

    Also, you might check out the Fisher Price line of Imagenetix BatCave toys. They have these adorable 2″ tall batman figurines. We love them.


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