Is it wrong that this morning I told my child that if he didn’t use his lips (chew with his mouth closed) I would stop feeding him? Is it more wrong that I freakin meant it? You know, I don’t even care how wrong it may have been because I think he believed me and that’s all that really matters.
I do love to make idle threats, it seems. I mean, not on any real matters threatening legitimate consequence, but I like to mix it up a bit with extreme yet possible punishments. Here are a few, just to give you an idea of what we’re about around here. I’ve also told him
- (just as my mother told me) that I’d rip his arms and legs off and beat him with them.
- Once there was a plant shaped as some kind of animal. My husband and I told Cole it was a reindeer and if he didn’t sniff his butt, Santa would not come this year. lol. We got that on video.
- If he didn’t stop scratching (he has eczema and scratches unconsciously sometimes), I’d cut his hands off.
- If he didn’t quiet down, I’d debark him.
The list goes on and on… but I’ve never meant one of them more than I meant it this morning. If he can’t chew with his yap shut, he’ll either have to start eating outside or stop eating, period. I can’t handle that at all. I know I’m neurotic. I’m okay with it.