Ex-Boyfriend³ (you know who you are),
I don’t understand you. You never cease to (at the very least) intimate your deep feelings of regret in regards to our break-up that happened over 10,000 years ago. I’m not sure exactly what you regret, to be quite honest. I was young, dumb, and inexperienced.
In case you don’t quite remember, I was far from what most consider an “awesome girlfriend”.
Aside from the “whore of the month” award I received during our 3rd year together, there wasn’t much else that I can remember about myself that could have even been near appealing.
I “cooked” Ramen Noodles and sandwiches for dinner every night for 3 years before I learned how to make tacos.
I cleaned up the apartment when it was necessary, but for the most part, if you didn’t pick up your beer bottles, they were staying where you left them. I was all kinds of feminist/ girl power motivated in my youth.
I had the smartest mouth in America. I talked so much shit to you that I’m surprised you didn’t shoot yourself. In fact, when you called telling me you were about to shoot yourself, I said, “prove it”.
WHO DOES THAT??
Heartless me, that’s who.
What a bitch I was. I’m glad I’ve changed so much.
Just ask my husband.
I did a lot of things back then that I would never dream of doing today.Unfortunately for you, your name is #6 on that list.
