Tag Archives: after school special we’re not

More Like The Haskel’s

Last night at dinner:

Daddy: “Colebert, you are such a dork”

Cole, with shock and anger all over his face, turns to the other side of the table where I am mindlessly eating my dinner.

Colebert: “Mommy, Daddy just called me a dork.

I had to fake my look of shock and anger, but I made sure to imitate his emotions so that he felt validated. That’s just the kind of thoughtful parent I am.

I mean, I giggled a little first … but I was able to pull myself together quickly.

Mommy: “I heard him, babe. Not cool, Daddy”

Appalled and determined to convince me otherwise, Colebert yelled,

“I’m not a dork!”

Mommy: “I know you aren’t, babe.”

He then turned back to look at Daddy who had already nearly forgotten what we were talking about at this point.

Colebert: “Daddy, you’re a dork!”

I shook my head,  thinking about how wonderful it was that we could set such a great example of tolerance and sensitivity. 

Mommy: “Boys? No name calling, please. Because some people would get their feelings hurt if you called them dorks. Just because we have a sense of humor doesn’t mean everyone does. It’s just not very nice.”

Daddy nodded in agreement.

Daddy: “Mommy’s right, Cole. Some people are freaks .”

I really thought, up until this point, we were having one of those “after school special” moments. I should have known better.

I hadn’t seen any flying pigs and I’m pretty sure Bakersfield had not been covered by a sheet of ice.

Yet, for just a moment, we resembled the Cleaver’s. Except my “Ward” and “Wally” had their own version of a life lesson.

Then Cole came at my husband with something out of nowhere and all on his own. He said,

“I don’t want to be like you, Daddy. I want to be cool.”

I laughed so hard I almost had water come through my nose. And I definitely had a tear forming in my eye. My little man is growing up to be a smart-ass, just like his Mommy and Daddy. Aw.