Today, Cole told me he was going to kick my ass. I don’t remember why, but that’s not important. He said, “I’m gonna kicka your ass” (that wasn’t a mistype – he said “kicka”)
I told him “ass” was a bad word and to say “butt” instead. In hindsight, I think maybe I should have first addressed the fact that he said he was going to kick my ass before focusing on the profanity portion of the statement.
He then displayed his extensive knowledge of all bad words. He asked, “ass is bad word?” I nodded.
He said, “fuck is a bad word too, Mommy, huh”. I nodded.
“Bitch is bad word”. I nodded.
“Shit is bad word too”. I said, “yes, Colebert. That’s enough. Thank you”.
“Asshole bad word, Mommy?”
At that point I looked over at him and caught him smiling.
So smooth. I’m just glad he’s smooth at home instead of at school or at the store. For today, anyway.
Today is my birthday. I’m 29. Woot.
Apparently, today was also Minnie Mouse’s birthday on the episode of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse that played this morning. I actually missed it, due to cereal and dish duty (yes, even on my birthday I’m called to serve), but Cole took in every second. He has yelled for Toodles several times to ask for Mousekatools. And I guess good ol’ Mickey and the gang gave Minnie a surprise party because he keeps jumping out in front of me and screaming “SURPRISE!!!” at the top of his lungs.He got me so good once already that I dropped my purse on my foot. It’s cool, though. His birthday is next month… we’ll see who the master of surprise really is then .
So I asked Cole to stop messing around while I was trying to change him a while back, and he asked, “why?”. I told him because I’m the Mom and that’s how that works. He looks at me with just as much conviction that I had and said, “Well, I’m the Cole.”
Okay… fair enough, I guess.
- “I’m The Cole”