Tag Archives: If you say “they give you… cancer” – just know it won’t be very funny because I already thought of it.

Day 2: Gluttony

Day 2 – Gluttony:  Seven guilty pleasures.

1. When I think guilty pleasures? My immediate response is of course, chocolate. I love chocolate. I love chocolate and peanut butter. I love chocolate and nuts. I love chocolate all by itself.  My number 1 guilty pleasure of all time is without a doubt: CHOCOLATE

2. I don’t watch much television. When I do catch up on my shows it’s usually via online recorded episodes. This is because I would never dream of asking my son to change Spongebob Squarepants, which happens to air in during the same time (I think). Okay, so it’s mostly because I can’t seem to remember which day my crap is on TV and I don’t remember, until someone SPOILS the ending or results on Facebook, that I wanted to watch it.

Of these shows I watch most? THE BACHELOR/ BACHELORETTE is among the top 3. I can no longer tell a lie. I effing love these ridiculous “reality” shows that lead to the heartbreak of most and the temporary happiness of 2 lovely people who decide to marry one another after having only known their betrothed for 10 – 12 weeks. I even watched “The Bachelor Pad” spin-off recently. I loved every second.

3. I can’t leave out DANCING WITH THE STARS. Since I’m being honest and all, I may as well get it all out now.

4. CONTAINERS. I fucking love containers. Big ones, small ones, flat ones, tall ones. I love containers because I pretend I am organized from time to time. And because if there is a container for it? It’s in its place. I feel very accomplished with 17 containers filled with “like items” stacked in my garage. Job well done. House it organized.

Did you know that when I lived in Fort Worth? There was a Container Store there? It’s actually called The Container Store. I felt like my mother ship was calling me home each time I drove past it.

5. SWEATPANTS. Everyone likes to be comfortable. But I have to force myself to put on anything without an elastic waist these days. It’s very sad and very unfortunate for my husband. It’s a good thing I have cute undergarments.

6.  OFFICE SUPPLIES. I love pens and paper clips and tabs – oh, I love tabs for my file folders.

This makes me a huge nerd. But I’m okay with that.

7. MARLBORO REDS. I don’t care if you think smoking is gross. I think it is too – unless I am the one smoking.

My cigarettes bring me relief. They give me that needed break from the monotony or an  extremely busy, stressed  the fuck out day. The give me a satisfaction that can only be rivaled by sex and chocolate. All 3 within a 30 minute time frame? Perfection.