Tag Archives: I’m late

I Confess …

Friday Confessions. Here are mine. Don’t judge me, dammit.

  • Once On a couple separate occasions, I bought 2 pieces of cake from the grocery store bakery (one for me and one for my husband), but I ended up eating mine – then half of his. Upon seeing 1/2 a piece of cake, he made the logical assumption that I saved him half of MY piece of cake and he thought it was a very sweet gesture, given my love of cake. I didn’t say a word.
  • I semi-regularly bribe my kid to do the things I need him to do. Running late and he’s not cooperating? “Dude, seriously. If you stop running around the house like a mad man long enough for me to put some clothes on your naked ass so we can go? I’ll give you 3 Smarties and a Blow Pop.” OR “If you can sit here and be quiet for 20 minutes while Mommy is on the phone/ doing homework/ writing a blog, I’ll let you watch SpongeBob.” I usually try threats first; but sometimes you just have to get things handled quickly. Candy and crude cartoons always get the job done.
  • It’s me who steals at least one sock from your dryer at least once a week. I gain nothing (besides a single sock without its mate). I do it purely for the enjoyment I get while watching you shake your head in disbelief as you are left with a lone sock after folding laundry. Though, that’s nowhere near as funny as watching you retrace your steps from the bedroom to the laundry room to make sure you didn’t drop it on the way somewhere. Twice.
  • I wait until 30 minutes before my husband gets home from work to start cleaning up the house so it appears as though I’ve done something besides blog, catch up on my shows, and link around mindlessly all day. Speaking of, it looks like I have just 15 minutes today. Crap.