Paige, over at Slightly Off-Balance is having a Mother of the Year Contest. I wouldn’t be mentioning this, of course, if it weren’t a contest I could win. Seeing how the title of the contest is meant to be taken with a sarcastic grain of salt, I felt like I must nominate myself and start my campaign immediately. Below are just a few of the reasons I should be named “Mom of the Year”. I’ve already posted the first couple on Paige’s comments, but I’ll copy and paste so everyone can see for themselves what a shoe-in I obviously am for this award.
- We told my son that Chuck E. Cheese died after he asked to go see him for at least 62 days in a row. We warned him that incessant whining and pleading would give Chuck E. a heart attack. He chose to do things the hard way.
- I redefined “candy” for him until the little kids in pre-school told him otherwise. He thought carrots were “candy” so when anyone asked if he’d like some candy, he’d politely decline.
- I regularly tell him that if he doesn’t quiet down, “Mommy might have an aneurysm”.
- When he scratches too much due to his eczema, I tell him that if he keeps scratching, I’ll cut his hands off.
- If I’m not in the mood to play cars and he keeps begging me to do so, I’ll send him on a wild goose hunt for a car that is white with black stripes, insisting that it is the only one I will play with. He doesn’t have a car that is white with black stripes.
- When he did finally find a car that was white with black stripes somewhere in the depths of hell he calls his room, I told him he didn’t hear me right because I told him I wanted a black car with red stripes that day.
- Every time he is near a rotating fan, he yells “I am your Father!!” into the back of it. I told him it was kind of the protocol for behavior when in the presence of all fans – everywhere. I am NOT kidding about this. This is proof.
- Since he was too small to understand, I’ve told him that when he gets a sticker, it has to go on his head right away. It’s what all the kids do. If he starts school and doesn’t put stickers on his head when he gets them, he’ll look kind of silly since everyone else has stickers on their heads. (So far, so good)
Honestly, this barely scratches the surface in regards to why I should win the “Mother of the Year Award”. Unfortunately, I’m out of time. I need to go pick up the kid from his Halloween Party day at school. I dressed him as Tinkerbell.
Okay, I didn’t dress him as Tinkerbell. He’s a Transformer. His Daddy would have killed me.
I’m off. Have a good one! Don’t forget to support of my nomination! Thanks.